If You Need It To Arrive Safe and In One Piece -- Hire A Professional

The film begins with a ship in the ocean. Two workers think that they are transporting alcohol, and want to have a little taste. They open a container and find numerous drums inside. One of the drums is knocked over. They pick it up and open it, only to get a face full of toxic waste. The captain and crew hear an alarm go off and put on gas masks. They find the two workers, dead next to the open drum. The captain has the bodies thrown over the side of the ship. Elsewhere, Malcolm (David Atrakchi) drives his car to a police checkpoint. A cop requests to see his passport, and he shows it to him. The cop sees a woman sleeping in the backseat, and Malcolm says that shes tired from partying last night. The cop lets Malcolm through the checkpoint.Frank Martin (Jason Statham) and Inspector Tarconi (François Berléand) enjoy a boring day of fishing in the ocean. They are at the spot that Tarconi used to fish with his father, and is surprised that they havent had any bites yet. Eventually, Tarconi gets a bite and Frank gets all excited, telling him to fight for the fish. Elsewhere, Malcolm gets to another police checkpoint and shows his papers to a cop. However, the cop tells Malcolm to get out of the car and bring his papers inside so that they can inspect it. He also tells him that the woman in the back needs to come inside as well. Malcolm looks nervous, and then he winds up speeding past the checkpoint. The cops chase Malcolm through the streets, but wind up crashing into a van. Tarconi, after losing the fish, gets the call about the chase and is surprised that Frank was not the driver. He tells Frank that hes going to have to cut their fishing day short, and they depart just as Frank gets a bite. At the airport, Johnson (Robert Knepper) and his men arrive in a private jet. When asked what his purpose is in the country, Johnson says that hes there for environmental protection. During this time we see Minister Leonid Vasilev (Jeroen Krabbe) talking with reporters about his plan to help save the environment. Vasilev goes into his office and finds a confidential envelope waiting on his desk. The envelope starts to ring, and he finds a cell phone inside. Johnson is on the other end of the line, and is watching Vasilev from across the street. Johnson works for a company that Vasilev refused to do business with, since they would cause harm to the environment. Johnson has been hired to convince him to reconsider, and tells him to look at the picture inside the envelope. Vasilev is shocked by what he sees, and Johnson tells him that hell be in contact with him.At night, Frank falls asleep watching a fishing show on TV at his house. He wakes up, and hears tires screeching. Suddenly, a car crashes into his house. The driver is Malcolm, and he is bloodied from the crash and having been shot. As Frank recognizes him, we see a flashback to when he was approached for a job. Frank declined, and instead gave the man Malcolms name and number to contact. The man was adamant that his boss wanted Frank because hes the best and wouldnt take no for an answer. Frank tried to leave, but became surrounded by henchmen in a room with a piano in it. They tried to make him reconsider, but Frank took off his jacket and beat the crap out of them all. Back to the present, Frank calls an ambulance to get help for Malcolm, who refuses to get out of the car. Frank sees that he has a metal device strapped around his wrist, and the paramedics show up. Malcolm, weak, tries to tell them something about the car but the paramedics load him into the ambulance and start to drive away. Frank inspects the car and then sees Valentina (Natalya Rudakova) in the backseat. He tries to get her to get out of the car so that he can help her, but she shows him that shes also wearing a metal device. Frank realizes that somethings wrong and runs after the ambulance. After a certain distance, the ambulance explodes. He goes back into his house and is immediately knocked out by someone.When Frank wakes up, he finds himself in a room wearing nothing but his underwearand a metal device around his wrist. He finds a suit in the closet and puts it on. Johnson walks in and says that he would like to hire him for a job, since Malcolm (his replacement) failed. Frank maintains that hes unavailable. Becoming annoyed with a henchman, Johnson shoots him in the forehead and then points the gun at Frank. He tells him that he has three seconds to accept the job or hell kill him. Frank has no choice but to take the job, under the condition that he drives his own car. Johnson had a feeling that he would want his car, and so he leads Frank to a garage. Johnson has had his men take out all the weapons from the car and has installed his own GPS. He also gives him a wad of cash for gas/food, and a cell phone that will only call Johnsons number. He tells Frank to think of this as more of a mission, and tells him to not disappoint. He also mentions that the metal device around his wrist is a bomb, and if he gets more than 75 feet away from the car, hell explode. Hell be released after completing the mission. Frank is about to get in when he sees that Valentina is sitting in the passenger seat. He says that he works alone, but says that hell take the girl when Johnson threatens to kill her. He gets into the car and, after loading two bags into the trunk, tells Frank to get driving. Meanwhile, Tarconi arrives at Franks house and wonders what the hell happened there. He has his cops set up a crime scene, and a cop tows away Malcolms car. However, the tow truck is blocked off by a car and the cop is shot through the windshield. The gunmen remove the GPS from Malcolms car and drive off.After getting through a police checkpoint, Frank calls Johnson and he tells him to punch in a code for the GPS. The next location he will have to go is Budapest (Hungary). Frank repeatedly tries to get Valentina to talk to him about whats going on, but she refuses. Meanwhile, Tarconi has found the tow truck and the dead cop inside. He reviews video footage from the tow truck and sees who the gunmen were. He also sees their license plate, and has his cops try to find them. Frank drives off the chosen path and Johnson is made aware of it, since his men are tracking the car. Johnson sends some henchmen to persuade Frank to get back on course, but warns his men not to kill him since they need him. Frank drives to a garage owned by his friend Otto (Timo Dierkes), whos also a tech whiz. He shows Otto the bomb around his wrist, and asks him if he can remove it. Otto cant, and says that he knows the Pentagon has been working on something like it in secret. He says that theres a transmitter somewhere in the car, and then Johnsons goons show up. Frank orders Otto to search his car for the transmitter while the henchmen order Frank to get driving. They grab wrenches & poles, and attack Frank. As he beats his way through the men, Frank takes off his clothes and uses them as weapons. Eventually, he winds up shirtless and a giant henchman shows up. He throws Frank through a wall and beats him up. Frank tries to fight back, but his punches/kicks seem to hardly have any effect on him. The giant winds up getting stuck in the floor, and Frank bashes his head with a shovel. As Frank gets dressed, Valentina has obviously become attracted to him and helps straighten his tie. Otto finds the transmitter, but if he removes it the bombs will go off. Frank and Valentina drive away.While Valentina takes a nap in the back, Frank calls Johnson and tells him that he wants to talk face-to-face. Johnson says that hell be at Budapest, and to wait for his call. Frank arrives in Budapest and then sees a nearby pay phone ringing. He exits the car to answer it, and Johnson says that hes been thinking about their arrangement. Hes starting to think that anyone with a drivers license can do the mission, and so in the vein of Donald Trump, he fires Frank. A henchman steals Franks car and drives away. Frank chases him on foot, desperate to remain within distance. Valentina wakes up and sees that the new driver is not Frank. She starts to fight with him, trying to get him to stop the car, as Frank steals a bicycle and rides through a factory. Eventually, the driver stops to take care of Valentina. Frank rides his bicycle through a window, jumps through the drivers window, and kicks him out. Frank then drives off with Valentina. Meanwhile, the men that hired Johnson meet with Vasilev and order him to sign their contract, which also includes allowing the ship from the beginning to enter port without question. Vasilev buys some time by requesting 24 hours to review the contract. Also, Frank contacts Tarconi and informs him of the situation at hand. Frank talks with Johnson again, and agrees to do the mission. The next location he has to go to is Bucharest. Tarconi and his cops were listening in on the call, and are doing their best to trace Johnsons location but its difficult since he keeps on moving.Valentina says that shes hungry and describes what she wants to eat. She becomes more upbeat and puts on some make-up. When she does, she finds that she still has some drugs. She offers Frank a pill, but he refuses since hes more focused with driving. He tells her not to take the pills, but she does anyways. Valentina blasts some music and then says that she needs to pee. Frank pulls into a gas station and fills up the tank. Before Valentina goes inside, Frank reminds her not to go far from the car. Valentina goes inside the convenience store and pays for the gas. She eats some food and drinks some vodka in the back of the store. However, she is unable to get to the bathroom because its more than 75 feet from the car. Valentina resorts to pissing in the aisle while Frank becomes frustrated with her behavior. A car pulls up in front of the gas station, and a man gets out to piss on the side of the road. Frank gets suspicious and tells Valentina to get back in the car. She keeps on drinking the vodka and makes a scene at the gas pump. The guys in the car up ahead recognize Valentina and go into reverse. Frank throws the vodka away, shoves Valentina into the back, and speeds off. The other car tries to run Frank off the road, but fail. Frank calls Johnson and asks him why the car is chasing him. The guys in the other car are not Johnsons people, and so he tells Frank to drive faster while he figures out who they are. Two big trucks drive in both lanes on the road up ahead. Frank turns the car on its side and drives sideways between the trucks. He makes it past, and one of the trucks loses control. The other car chases Frank to a forest and fire at him with machine guns. Frank slams on the brakes just before the edge of a cliff. The other car drives over the cliff and explodes after falling.Frank rests his head on the steering wheel, and Valentina massages him because hes so tense. She then kisses the back of his neck, and Frank asks him what shes doing. She says that if theyre going to die, she wants to have sex one last time. Frank declines and gets out of the car. He looks in the trunk and finds that the two bags are filled with phone books. He then realizes that Valentina is the package hes transporting. She steals his keys and playfully walks away from the car. She says that she was turned on watching him fight shirtless earlier, and she wants him to do a striptease. Frank reluctantly takes off his shirt, but Valentina then requests a kiss. He kisses her, but she wants a kiss like he means it. Frank passionately kisses her, and they continue to make out even after he gets his keys back. Meanwhile, Johnson calls Vasilev and is furious that he sent some men to try to thwart his plan. Johnson says that if he ever wants to see his daughter Valentina again, hell have to play ball and sign the contract. Vasilev reveals that he knows who Johnson is and says that he wants to talk to his daughter before signing the contract. Johnson tries to call Frank, but hes too busy having sex with Valentina in the car. Hes also at a loss because since Frank is in the forest, hes out of range for them to track him.As Frank and Valentina overlook the valley, Valentina finally reveals what happened. She was at a nightclub partying with friends when someone gave her a drugged drink. She went to the bathroom and passed out. When she woke up, she was in the backseat of Malcolms car. She begged Malcolm to pull over and let her call her father. He did, even though it was against the rules. As she called her father, Johnsons henchmen showed up and chased them. They shot Malcolm in the back, and he told Valentina that he would make sure shes safe, which is why he crashed into Franks house. Frank and Valentina get back on the road, and Johnson calls them. He says that instead of going to Bucharest, hes going to take the next left and continue down the road. Valentina is afraid that they will kill Frank, but he tells her not to worry about it. Elsewhere, Tarconi visits Vasilev and works with him on getting his daughter back. Johnson calls and orders Vasilev to sign the contract, but he refuses until he hears Valentinas voice. He hangs up before Tarconi can trace his location. Frank winds up driving on a bridge, and becomes blocked on it (Johnson and his men are at both sides). Johnson orders Valentina to get out of the car and walk to him. Frank kisses her goodbye and tells her that hell be fine. Valentina walks over to Johnson, who removes her bomb, and spits in his face. Johnson punches her in the stomach and shoves her into a car. He then orders his men to kill Frank. They pump his car full of bullets, and Frank drives off the bridge into the water below. Johnson is satisfied, since hes dead either way (he stays, he drowns he leaves, he explodes).Underwater, Frank calls Tarconi and tells him where he is. Tarconi and the cops are ten minutes away and tell Frank to hang on. As Frank begins to drown, he swims to the trunk and takes out the two bags from earlier. He uses the air from the tires to blow air into the bags, which allows him to breathe. He then ties the bags to the car, and the air causes the car to float to the surface. Tarconi and the cops arrive just in time to see Frank & his car being pulled out of the water by a tractor. Frank gets a new pair of clothes and works on his car to get it running again. Meanwhile, Johnson and his men arrive at a train station. He tells a henchman to buy tickets for the next train, since they need to keep moving. The henchman annoys Johnson and he almost kills him, but stops when he sees witnesses around. While on the train, Johnson calls Vasilev and lets him speak with Valentina. Tarconis cops are able to trace Johnsons location to the train. Franks car starts again, and he speeds off to save Valentina. Johnson says that he really hates violence, since it causes more problems than solutions, but sometimes its necessary to get what you want. Valentina then sees that Frank is driving alongside the train and smiles. Frank drives up ahead to a bridge and then drives off it, landing on top of the train. He jumps through a window and is fired upon by the henchmen. Johnson holds Valentina at gunpoint, but she bites his hand and runs off into the other cabs. Frank kicks a helmet at a goons face, grabs a machine gun, and kills all the henchmen. Johnson gets to Valentina again, and Frank runs after him. However, he is forced to stop due to being 75 feet from the car. Johnson dares Frank to takes one more step, but Frank runs away.While Tarconi and the cops give chase to the train, they see Frank climb on top of the train and climb back into his car. Johnson separates the cabs so that Franks section drifts away from them. Frank manages to drive his car from the top of the train into the cab where Johnson and Valentina are. Frank then gets out and beats the hell out of Johnson. He tries to stab Frank with a knife, but Frank knocks it away and continues to beat him. Johnson lands on the car and Frank grabs the key to remove his bomb. He then ties Johnsons arm to the car, straps the bomb to his wrist, and puts the car in reverse. Johnson panics and gets his arm loose from the car before it falls off the train. He then realizes that he shouldve stayed with the car, since he becomes 75 feet from it. Johnson explodes, causing the train to come to a halt. Frank finds Valentina and kisses her. Tarconi rescues them and calls Vasilev, telling him that his daughter is safe. Vasilev rips up the contract, and the ship from the beginning is raided by the police. Some time later, we see Frank and Tarconi fishing again in the ocean. Tarconi notes that Frank is changing, and we see that Valentina is with them, sunbathing on the boat. The film ends with Valentina telling them what she wants to eat.

Genre: Thriller, Action, Adventure

Directed by: Olivier Megaton

Starring: Jason Statham (Frank Martin), Natalya Rudakova (Valentina), François Berléand (Tarconi), Robert Knepper (Johnson), Jeroen Krabbé (Leonid Vasilev), Alex Kobold (Leonid's Aide)

Screenplay: Robert Mark Kamen, Luc Besson

Country: France, Great Britain, USA

Year: 2008

Score: 61 %